There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Randomize
