I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Randomize
