living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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