dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize