I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
pop tarts are not kleenex
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
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