oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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