$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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