Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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