Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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