Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
