Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
