The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
