I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Still dying that you shit outside
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
