So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
