I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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