I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
