none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
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