Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
