get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
