Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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