Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
