Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
