She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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