I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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