Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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