fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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