(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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