there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
