her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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