You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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