that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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