Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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