last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Randomize