Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Randomize
