Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
