I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
