I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
