By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Randomize
