Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
