In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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