I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
