You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
