i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
