Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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