Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
