Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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