I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
