Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize