What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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