You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
