Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Randomize
