I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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