i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
