i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize