We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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