oh god the rape fog is back!
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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