would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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