so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
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