next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Randomize
