What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I have surprise drugs for everyone
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
