mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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