Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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