I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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