so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Randomize
