He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
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